Tee hee.

We all think ‘sex-for-money’ when we hear the word prostitution. Forget that. That’s not my focus here. I’m talking about archetypes, an ancient and universal concept of what it means to prostitute one’s self.

Wha…?  A Couple Definitions

To Prostitute:  To sell parts of one’s Self in order to gain physical security.

Archetype:  An inherited idea or mode of thought stemming from the experience of the human race, present in the unconscious minds of the individuals of the human race.

Ms. Myss

I’m reading a body-mind-spirit book by Caroline Myss right now, Sacred Contracts, and everything here in this post is inspired by my reading, thinking out loud about the concept she describes in the book and relating it to the mindset of post-dysfunctional families. (I would say that I believe that Ms. Myss would approve of my discussion of her ideas, but as I’m an ex-approval-seeker who knows that ideas cannot be copyrighted, I’ll stop at saying that I’m in awe of and deeply appreciative of her amazing contributions; I’ve been freed on account of many of her ideas, and I’m thankful that she continues to write, speak, and sing her particular, unique song for the universe.)

If you’re interested, here’s the book: Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential

Am I Whoring Myself?

As a society we have contempt for whores.  It’s quite palpable in our society.  Right now the U.S. Secret Service is being investigated and criticized in the public media for shacking up with prostitutes on the eve of a workday (prostitution is legal in Colombia). With this case, one issue at the core is respect.  From one Colombian prostitute’s perspective, not being paid for sex by the Secret Service man she had sex with was disrespectful.   From the man’s perspective, my guess is that the opposite was true — paying someone for sex is treating them like, well, a whore.

So, just saying:   Prostitution is, and has always been, a dicey topic.  I’m sure it’s because we all have, inside us, the potential to whore.

What Will You Trade of Your Self to Ensure Physical Security?

Now, buckle in and grab those eye drops, this is going to knock you down and shift your focus!

When I read the chapter in Myss’ book about archetypes, and got to the one discussing the Prostitute, I was like, “Oh, it’ll be interesting to read about those poor troubled souls….”  Then I recognized myself!  Tee hee.  Humility is always sitting around the corner, ever patient, ain’t it?

I delayed not a few work, life, and love decisions in my life because my self-respect was minimal in relation to my fear of losing my physical security.

What about you…?

Have you ever stayed in a relationship solely to maintain your physical security (that nice house, country club, rent, mortgage, car payment, etc?)

Have you ever failed to report a manager or coworker because you didn’t want to rock the boat and fall out (of a boat you believed was your only boat, a safe boat, a necessary boat)?

Have you ever said, “I love you, too,” when you weren’t so sure because the person looking at you could “fix” you, save you?

So, just saying:   We’re but humble humans wanting to feel safe, and we tend to prostitute ourselves when we sense that our security is vulnerable — and when our self-respect is hiding in the back seat.

Myss writes:

“The Prostitute thrives most bountifully in subtle ways and in ordinary, everyday circumstances. It comes into play most clearly when our survival is threatened. Its core issue is how much you are willing to sell of yourself–your morals, your integrity, your intellect, your word, your body, or your soul–for the sake of physical security.”

It’s quite a brainfull to consider, huh?  A painful brainfull.

This Stuff is Made for TV

In the television drama version of all this, the bully is saying to the person prostituting themselves, “You’ll be nothing without me!”  Or, “You’ll be out on your ass and no one in this town will ever hire you again if I have anything to do with it!”

Or, in a manipulative and abusive relationship they’ll say, “You’re going to be alone the rest of your life!”  Or, “I’m going to take everything from you if you leave–I’ll sue you into homelessness!”

Right?

Wake Up Call for My Inner Whore

My mother dropped me off at her parents’ house “for the weekend” when I was three-years-old.  She didn’t come back.  That was my first introduction to the Prostitute archetype–of many, many, many–as a child.  Keeping a caregiver around and a roof over my head was paramount.  Another time, at six-years-old, I was asked by my father to OK my stepmother’s adoption of me so that my mother who lived in the same town wouldn’t interfere with our new family so much.  I learned from an early age to sell-out my self-respect in exchange for physical safety.  I didn’t want to be abandoned again.  Once had been enough.

Well into adulthood I seemed to operate according to the rule that selling out was what enabled my security.  A vacation from all that emotional whoring felt long overdue.

Faith is An Antidote

There is so, so much more to say about this concept, my mind is brimming with examples.  But let me close on the idea of self-respect and faith.  If we’re whoring ourselves on some level, we can investigate that in a few ways, but the key mode is questioning your faith. Faith in yourself, faith in the universe, or faith in god.

What, in the situation, is testing your faith?  What belief is missing?  What about your faith is weak?

Have you lost faith in your worth?

Have you lost faith in your options?

Have you lost faith in your own abilities?

Have you lost faith in your ingenuity?

Your love-ability?

Myss writes:

“Confronting the Prostitute within you transforms this archetype into your guardian. It will watch over your relationship to faith. Think of the Prostitute as the ally who puts you on alert every time you contemplate shifting your faith from the Divine to the physical. Anytime you are in a crisis of faith, try to become mindful of your thoughts and fears. Name exactly what you are afraid of, especially those fears that try to talk you into compromising yourself in any way. The Prostitute appears when you begin to believe that you could order your life if you just had the money to control the world around you–and to buy just a bit of everyone in it.”

As always, we must actually do the work.

-ae

LISTEN TO THE SHOW HERE: Blog Talk Radio Sunday April 15, 2012

-ae

Tool #2 – Don’t Believe What You Think

This is part two on Self-Esteem and my post from last week, inspired by an important book ($12) – Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem

The first tool from the book that I shared in last week’s Part 1 post (here ’tis) was Anchoring. I tried to walk through how to anchor positive experiences of Self into your body in a physical way.  Trying out the technique really blew me away. I did it immediately, which is usually key…before any hesitation might come into the picture, right?  This next tool from the book is about Core Beliefs (really, truly unhelpful ones – but real all the same) and how to approach the process of reversing and rewriting them. This is a process that could take weeks or months of active work. And it’s life-changing.

This is about delving deep into the negativity, the toxic self-concepts that are inside (which we didn’t put there) that are causing us to doubt, hesitate, and disengage from what we want.  So, the stakes are pretty high, and the reward is pretty massively great here.

Capturing and Writing Down Your Core Beliefs

First, I want to share the funny (but true) notes I wrote in the margin of the Core Beliefs chapter, which are about my cat, Wanda, who had jumped into my lap while I was reading.

For those of you who are familiar with the abyssinian breed of cat, these are athletic, energetic, people-oriented, emotional, talkative, and high-need cats.

Wanda’s Core Beliefs

• Amy is always happy to see me
• I am a joy to touch
• I am worth petting
• Playing with me is a good time
• My hunger is valid
• I can say when I’m hungry no matter the time or day (or night)
• Amy is happy to feed me
• We like togetherness
• I am heard
• I am a good communicator
• The the sound of my voice is pleasing
• Being near me feels good to others

I think it’s safe to say that Wanda has extremely robust self-esteem, rooted in positive core beliefs.

Distortions of Self

Here are some bits from the book, to provide some context:

“The fundamental building blocks of self-esteem are your core beliefs:  your basic assumptions about your value in the world. Core beliefs determine to what degree you see yourself as worthy, safe, competent, powerful, autonomous, and loved.”

“Core beliefs are frequently distorted by early trauma and deprivation. In response to hurt or rejection, you may have come to see yourself as flawed or unworthy. Because no one mirrored back your value, now you may simply fail to see it.”

It’s hard to see core beliefs. They are the cake under the frosting – if the cake  beneath is lumpy or uneven, that’ll show up in the frosting although it’s buried.  What I’m saying is that we don’t know our core beliefs off-hand, but we can look at our actions, and our thoughts, to get to them.  This process requires self-reflection and a bit of investigative work.

To reveal your core beliefs, you need 3 things:   Situation + Thoughts + Feelings

Situation
This is the interaction or event during which the core belief was activated. For example, my dining room window cracked and I notified my landlady. We then had a confrontation about whose responsibility the cost was.

Thoughts
Thoughts are phrases, things you think (often quite automatically or unconsciously):  ”She doesn’t believe me. I did change my story, didn’t I? Ugh. I always feel responsible for things I didn’t do.” Or, “Why can’t I speak up when I want to, I’m always hesitating…!?” Or “The boss knows I messed up. I’ll never get a raise. Why am I so dumb – no brain in my head!”  Or, “They’re probably thinking I’m going to turn out just like my mother – desperate and addicted.”

Feelings
Feelings can be explained by one word:  Scared, Vulnerable, Angry, Hopeless, Joyful, Excited, etc.

Just Do it!

Grab a pen.  Grab paper.  (Or open a Text file!)  QUICKLY write down a situation that took place in the past few days during which you “faltered” in your courage or confidence. Whatever pops into your mind.  Jot down notes.  Then, write down the feeling or feelings that you had, and some of the words or phrases that went through your mind.

Don’t judge, just write.

I’m doing this with you.  Here’s mine -

My Situation

Landlady says I’m going to have to pay for crack in window that spread across the whole window. But the glass repair people say the frame for the window measures out of square by .5″ and that I couldn’t have caused it. We argue. Landlady repeatedly uses my name, “Amy we both know this crack wasn’t here when you moved into the house,” talking like a parent. I’m hot under the collar but stand my ground, “That’s true but the cause of the crack is unknown – but we do know that the window is out of square and the glass guys are saying this was an inevitable occurrence.”

My Thoughts

She’s being aggressive, but I can see what she sees and it totally looks like this is my fault. If I push back, I bet she’ll try to get rid of me. How much am I willing to pay in order to be sure I’m secure in this house? I love this house, I’m at home here. I don’t want to have to move. I feel like everything is at risk now. What am I going to do? I didn’t do this. Am I responsible nonetheless?

My Feelings

Disbelief. Scared. Angry. Blamed. Bullied. Confused. Panic. Fight-or-Flight. Caught. Exposed. Child-like. Principal’s office. Victim.

Next Step:

To get to the Core Beliefs part of this equation requires further analysis. Basically it’s a matter of asking the question, “So What Does That Say About Me?” over and over till the core is revealed.

“It looks like this is my fault.” And “If I push back, she’ll get rid of me.”

So What Does That Say About Me? It says that if something looks like it’s my fault then it will become something I admit to. And that I believe that acting out can get me thrown out.

So What Does That Say About Me? It says that I believe my true innocence is irrelevant to how I’m judged. It means that I must play by others’ rules in order to secure my safety and home.

So What Does That Say About Me? That I have to be what others want, agree to what they want, be “nice” all in order to prevent abandonment.

So What Does That Say About Me? That I play by the rules of others because I’m so afraid of abandonment and loss of my home. And that others are in control of my sense of security.

Bingo!  Got it:

I believe that others are in control of my true security and having a home. And if I rock the boat, I put my safety at risk. 

Amazing, huh? That an everyday incident concerning a crack in my window can summon my old, old fear of abandonment and a belief rooted in my experiences of abandonment?  Wow. But that’s what we’re after here – the roots, the old crap that rules our minds.

I wrote about core beliefs in a different way in a post a while back. It was more playful, but took a similar approach. Here’s that post. (In that post I identified the “mottos” or “beliefs” of the family in which I grew up, including: “If we don’t discuss sex with the kids, they won’t have any!”)

Also, therapist Lisa Kift and I discussed “unhelpful core beliefs” in our discussion about Family of Origin Work, which is in this post here.

Here are some additional sample core beliefs and some listed in the book, which you may or may not relate to and might help you reveal yours:

It’s best to stay with the devil I know.
I shouldn’t ask for help.
I shouldn’t initiate sex.
It’s bad to report co-workers’ incompetence.
My child will hate me if I confront her about her behavior.
I’m unable to make good decisions.
My life will eventually fall apart.
If I don’t say “Yes” now, I won’t be asked again.
Good love eventually turns sour.

EEEEKK!

The idea is to get from the above list to this NEW AND IMPROVED CORE BELIEFS:

I am worthwhile and will always have options.
I ask for help when I need it.
Sex is enjoyable and voicing my desires is welcomed.
I have sound judgement about when to report co-workers’ incompetence.
Because I’m an engaged parent, I model and expect good behavior in my kids.
My approach to decision-making works well and works for me.
I empower myself to continuously keep my life on track and fulfilling.
It’s OK to say “No” to invitations when I’m tending to myself – there’s always next time.
Good love is something I can give and I deserve in return, and I’m built to enjoy Love.

Much better.  But getting there isn’t a matter of re-writing sentences. It’s a matter of acting on new beliefs. By acting as if you believe in your worth, you will re-write your core beliefs. Fake it till you make it, as they say.

In my cracked window example, this means that I would stand my ground and say, “While it’s true that the window wasn’t cracked when I moved into the house, it’s also true that the window is out of square. According to the glass experts, this couldn’t have been my fault. The fact is, neither of us knows how the crack got there. That’s why this is an issue. I know you don’t expect me to take the blame for something I’m not responsible for, which would be unfair. I like living here and I’m looking forward to enjoying this house for a long time. What seems like a fair solution to you?” Doesn’t that sound like someone who’s not afraid of being kicked out because she stood up for her rights? Doesn’t that sound like an…adult?

In the end, she had a second glass expert come, who confirmed that the window frame was out of alignment and said, “This is my thing” about the responsibility. However, she when she asked me to contribute to a portion of the cost, and I agreed. While I feared that she’d think my giving her some money was an admission of guilt (ack! no!), it was important to me to foster good will about the whole thing.

What was hardest for me during the incident was the nagging feeling that she’d think I was someone who’d try to get away with something. It was very uncomfortable to argue about something that LOOKED like my fault but wasn’t. So the incident pushed a lot of buttons for me, not just those tied to unhelpful core beliefs.

Can’t wait to hear what you guys came up with – feel free to share!

Be kind to yourself.

And, wow.  This is a remarkable book…and truly a book for us.

Here’s what I found in the first paragraph of Ch. 14, page 247:

Sheila, a 29-year-old waitress, had been fighting hard to control her critic.  But she remained convinced that her low self-esteem had far more to do with a basic feeling of worthlessness than with her criticizing inner voice.  She put it this way to her therapist:  “It’s a feeling that I’m bad, screwed up.  Just a gut feeling.  Like I’m unworthy…like I don’t deserve anything.  The critic comes from the feeling.  When I attack myself I’m just putting words to a feeling that’s already there.  Even if I strangled the critic, wiped him out, I’m sure this self-hate would still be there, sticking to me…”

That’s when I was totally and completely enthusiastic and a believer in this book.  Until that chapter, I was like, “Right, these self-esteem building tools are great, really great.  And these tools are absolutely worth putting into practice, no question about that.”  But I had this lingering doubt…that the tools would only glance my surface.  But the riches, for people like us at least, are in these those two final chapters. Those chapters help with the extra-hard-to-reach-places inside us.

Tool #1 ANCHORING

Buyer beware:  this anchoring technique I’m about to describe comes in a Chapter 14, which is filled with rich, rich information and tools that support the function and success of anchoring and self-esteem.  It’s not going to be completely successful in a vacuum. But, clearly I believe it’s useful unto itself and that’s why I’m sharing it here.

How to Do It – 5 Steps (about 10-15 minutes)

1.  Sit quietly with your eyes closed

2. Take a couple deep breaths and let your surroundings go

3.  Call forward a time in your life when you felt like YOU, when you felt great, safe, creative, alive, clear and unencumbered by anything oppressive.  From the book: “Notice everything about that time:  the sights, the sounds, the tastes and smells and feelings. See how you looked, how others looked. Hear the confidence in your voice, her the praise from others. Let yourself feel the confidence and self-acceptance.”

Keep your eyes closed.

4.  Now firmly touch your Left wrist with the fingers of your Right hand, keeping your Self vision clear, and seal it in.  What you’re doing is “programming” the positive feelings into your wrist.

5.  The authors recommend repeating the above 4 more times, so that you have “programmed” a total of 5 positive visions of yourself into your body.  I recommend it too.

I did 4 memories/visions in total.  The memories floated right up, very easily loosened.  Just the process of recalling times when I felt unencumbered and my true Self, that process alone, was wonderful and helpful.  To have all of that sealed-in for later recall is even better.  I found that most of my memories involved physical activity – skating, walking and swimming.  All in the out-of-doors and all solo activities.  I learned how important that is for my true happiness.

Touch your wrist at some point later today, after you do the 5 steps, and you’ll feel the magic working.  (I’d love to hear how this works for all of you – feel free to comment!)

How ANCHORING Works

When you need it, you can touch your wrist and your body will serve up positive feelings that you “programmed” into it to help you feel confident when you need it.  (This  technique, “anchoring,” comes from Neuro-Linguistic Programming. “…an anchor to be any stimulus that consistently evokes the same response.”)

Be kind to yourself.
–ae

PS:  Here’s the book ($12) – Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem

___________________

Coming in Part 2:   “Tool #2 CAPTURING & WRITING DOWN YOUR CORE BELIEFS”

Here’s his book, Ninety Days: A Memoir of Recovery
.

Here’s a quick clip of Bill:

Sure.  That’s abuse.  Of course.  But that’s not all, folks.  Abuse can take many forms, and to varying degrees of severity and frequency.  Here are key types:

Verbal
Psychological
Neglect
Sexual
Physical
Bullying/Hate Crimes

As you can imagine, these types blend, overlap and fuse together; for example, physical abuse also has psychological aspects–as does sexual abuse.  Think of it as a spectrum.

Here’s a video that illustrates very simply the 4 Stages of Abuse, which are:

1 – Tensions building
2 – Incident (the attack, scene, battle, abandonment, rejection, rage, etc.)
3 – Reconciliation (apology, justification, pretending it’s no big deal)
4 – Calm (“forgetting,” “amnesia,” “honeymoon period”)

WATCH:

Because it’s so nice when things are good and everyone’s getting along–when you’re in Calm–it’s tempting to dismiss The Incident when it comes around. It’s tempting to ignore it quickly, brush it away, under the rug, ignore that nagging voice, etc. It’s impossible to understand why things can’t be Calm all the time. Why? Because the Cycle of Abuse doesn’t make sense. But know that it’s a cycle true to itself; no matter how delicious your amnesia (Calm), it’s only temporary.

Abuse is a dynamic. Whether it occurs once a week or every three-four months, if the dynamic exists, the cycle will play itself out and its participants will go through all of the 4 Stages.

1-2-3-4.

Over and over and over again.

One: Given a roomy pot and some fertilizer a near-dead plant will flourish.

Two: A good pruning can re-focus a plant’s energy and allow it to flower.

We grow when the environment is right.
In fact, we can flourish in the right environment. It’s written in nature’s law book. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve felt it.

Your roomy pot and fertilizer cannot be dictated by anyone but the very You inside you.
Just because you have a “good” job or “cool” job doesn’t mean it’s the right one for the person inside you. The real You. It might please those around you, sure. Does your job (ahem, where you spend most of your time) play to your strengths? Does it allow you to feel energized?  Is it a good match?  (You know, not all the time or every single day, but we’re talking “enough” here or “most” of the time.)

Does your home environment nurture the You inside? If you’re creative, does it show that and support that? If you’re mathematical, is there a space for calculators, a whiteboard, pencils and graph paper? If you’re handy, do you have a workspace for cutting, nailing, building? Can someone walk into your environment and see any tell-tale signs of your inner You being nurtured?  They should be able to. Just because you have the best goods and services in your life, a McMansion, a BMW, Juicy Couture wardrobe, etc. doesn’t mean that your self-esteem is going to be uplifted accordingly. You might look like you’ve got solid self-esteem, but unless those things are truly, truly the pot and fertilizer your inner self requires they’re not going to deliver much of value.

Pruning can lead to flowering and grace – spend your energy in the right places.
I never thought that cutting off a limb (or several!) could be so good. When it’s planned, it sure is. The skin on the tops of my hands has only just healed from all the scratches…(next time – gloves) but I pruned away what seemed like 1/4 of a small, creeping tree in my front yard — and just a couple days later I saw the first purple flowers come. Just like that.

Plants grow faster and are healthier and more productive when they spend their energy growing in specific, focused directions (i.e., it’s one reason why we pinch suckers off tomato plants).

Translation:  if you’re spending energy supporting activities that aren’t contributing to your growth, that’s wasted energy. It’s the difference between running in circles and grace.

Be kind to yourself.

We have been loyal to people who ignored us. Loyal and loving and protective of those for whom we were secondary. We lived on the periphery of their focus. As babies, when our cries didn’t work, we shut up and smiled through our needs, our pain. As children, when our sad looks and silence didn’t work, we joked or worked even harder to achieve. As adults, when our accommodating behaviors left us feeling resentful and in need of equal returns of affection time and again, we got mad. Why?

We embodied the lie: I’m fine.

Fully embracing our right to our feelings can’t be done part-time. It can’t be done when it’s safe and won’t rock the boat or inconvenience others. Fully embracing our feelings–to which we have a right–can only be done fully. Full-throttle. When we only allow ourselves a right to our feelings sometimes, that’s how we know that we’re still under the influence of the lie. It’s not easy — not saying it is.

Once we survive our childhoods, we come out wired funny as a result of the survival skills we honed. We come out, come into adulthood, wired for battle, wired for protecting others from uncomfortable truths. Those tools, however, aren’t tools that can support finding our truth or building true contentment. To build contentment, we have to first win our battle with the belief that we don’t have a right to it. We struggle with the belief that we don’t deserve better, deserve more, deserve different than what we got.

We do deserve more. We deserve to have better, different from what we got. We do have a right to all of that. You are very, very important.

Whatever we “believed” as children worked to get us through. We have to now throw it down. I had to pretend that all was fine around me. I had to pretend that the fights, the moods, the inconsistencies and the belittling of family members wasn’t actually happening. My survival was at stake.

But, not now.

This is stuff we have to work at. I work hard at it. It’s not simple. Wishing doesn’t make it so.

Having a compass helps — here’s a Personal Compass that I’m working on and wanted to share:

1. NO MORE COVER-UPS

Cover-ups are for enablers and fuel co-dependence. It’s not my job to protect my partner nor my dad and stepmother from their own feelings of rejection, insecurity, loneliness, ignorance, awkwardness, self-consciousness, shortcomings, etc.

2. WE CAN THINK & FEEL DIFFERENT THINGS…AT THE SAME TIME

It is not my son’s job to agree with me. It’s not my job to agree with him. I can teach him the value of various feelings co-existing. I can feel or think one thing while he thinks or feels another. Different feelings can co-exist, and be of equal value. When we allow our partners and children to have their opinion and feelings, it’s not just an act of respecting them and modeling tolerance and empathy, but of honoring your own right to your feelings, too. (Plus, you get to learn more about those you love.)

3. I DESERVE TO BE TRULY LISTENED TO

I have a right to be seen, heard and accepted. Being heard doesn’t mean agreed with. And just because someone shuts up while you speak doesn’t mean you’re necessarily being heard, even if they make eye-contact; you know you’re heard when someone is actively listening and even articulate your feelings (without being threatened by them).

Active listening is when another person can say something along the lines of, “Sounds like you’re feeling bad about the dinner party. Can you say more?”

Listening is the greatest gift of love that we are able to give to one another. Listening is a skill, not a natural talent. I think we tend to make a lot of excuses for why we don’t feel heard, as if it’s expecting a lot of another person. Is it?

4. I’M IN CHARGE OF VALIDATING MYSELF

I’ve waited for validation of things I believe might be true about my talents and gifts. I’ve waited a long time for people to lift me up and validate what I’ve had suspicions about being smart things to do with my life.

But when that agreement and validation finally came from within me (and it was a leap of faith, for sure), that’s when it resonated deeply. I have a right to believe in myself.

So do you.

Don’t wait for permission to be yourself and express and discover your talents. Act now!

5. I AM WORTH MY LIFE

Our survival wiring prevents us from acting on our interests time and again. We — hesitate. We’re not sure that we’re supposed to have good stuff happen to us…we’re not sure we’re worthy or worth it.

We are worth it. You are worth it.

Our parents made mistakes, and I believe the biggest mistake was sending the message that we’re not worth our lives, that we’re secondary. We are not secondary. We are primary in our lives.

This is your life. What are you going to do with your life? That’s totally your decision.

Believe me, this stuff isn’t easy. My mother walked away from me when I was just three years old. I know what it is to internalize a message of worthlessness, of being garbage, of waste. But, listen: I carry my fear with me like an unsightly fanny pack!  Maybe I can’t shake my fear — it’s an ongoing process to work on my fear.  But the fact that fear exists doesn’t mean that I have to wait to live my life, does it?  Any reason why I can’t just take my fear with? Let it be alongside me while I bravely navigate through my adventures?

“Hello, I’m Amy. What – what’s that? Oh, that’s there is my Fear. She didn’t want me to go, so I had to drag her ass along with me for the ride.”

Be kind to yourself.

-ae

In honor of our beloved peeps and to raise awareness, I’m featuring an interview with Tian Dayton, Ph.D., who is the author of many, many books about healing, forgiveness, and Adult Children (listed below) and an Adult Child specialist.  We spoke this Saturday.  I was delighted to discover that she’s also from Minnesota!

But wait…!

First, please make your VOICE heard by completing this 2-minute survey about Being an ACoA:

ACoA Survey (2 minutes!)

Thank you!

Watch GWNI Interview: “Guess How to Have Fun!” with Tian Dayton, Ph.D. from amy eden on Vimeo.

http://www.tiandayton.com

Enjoy!