Archive for Self-Sabotage – Page 3

What’s THAT Supposed to Mean?!

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This short book is PACKED with ah-has.  It’s written by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D, and called That’s Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships In the book she writes about why critical comments can mean ‘solidarity’ to one person, but hostility to another.  And about why some people think being direct is the [...]

On the Nature of Making Changes in Your Life

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When is the last time a thought went through your head that contained some wish or hope that you could change something in your life?  Very recently, I bet.  (Maybe right before you came to this site?)   We think about making change all the time.  Yet we rarely make changes.  Why is this?  One [...]

Don’t Tell Me About Authority Figure Issues!


Authority figure issues anyone?  Oh, yes.  We've got them.  I've posted before about our complicated relationship with authority figures (in college, it's professors, in the work world, it's our bosses, our new "moms" and "dads").  Mainly, I wrote about authority figure issues in the context of handling criticism but I also mentioned it in terms of our [...]

Criticism, You Can Take It – Your Issues at Work Part III

If it’s regular criticism that you’re receiving from on high, use a similar approach to turn that plain criticism into constructive criticism. Let’s say your supervisor says, “Your work performance is inconsistent – some days you’re “on,” but other days you’re aloof, locked up like a clam shell. Your coworkers have noticed, too.” First off, you’re definitely going to have an internal emotional reaction because you are hearing this for the first time. That’s OK. Take a breath. You might feel a bit defensive. Don’t let that part of you take over, because you’ll miss out on the lesson. Your best bet is to ask a question. Keep asking till your surprise and defensiveness ease up.

Self-Sabotage: Willingness to be Wrong


Making decisions has everything to do with self-sabotage. Much of the time self-sabotage stems from not making decisions at all and allowing ourselves to have decisions made for us through the passage of time — deadlines will come an go if we do nothing. If you want to apply to graduate school and do nothing to make it happen, your inaction is a form of self-sabotage. Deadlines will come and go; it’s up to us to set things into motion. Think of it as watching a conveyor belt roll by — and jumping on that conveyor belt. Become one of the people moving forward.