Trust yourself to catch youself. You know how it works when people parachute? They’re harnessed to a device that facilitates their chute — their gentle drift down, down, down? (Chute is French for “fall.”) A quick linguistics course: the prefix Para- is attached to words we’ve taken from Greek (mostly, but there are some French ones [...]
Respect begets respect, right? Have you ever felt powerless over your reaction to someone, got defensive, and behaved like a child for no other reason than you were somehow triggered by the other person's tone of voice or posture? (We all have.) And were you aggravated with yourself because you let the other person [...]
Growing up as an adult child requires 3 steps:
1. Processing your pain
2. Learning about healthy living
3. Putting new behaviors into practice
Each of these three aspects will deliver you into your own version of true adulthood.
Never give up on yourself. Well, for an hour, or a day here and there, that’s fine, but you know what I mean–don’t ever commit to giving up on yourself. No matter how imperfect we feel, no matter how painfully, obviously in-progress we are, our fight for our true selves must go on. We must [...]
When is the last time a thought went through your head that contained some wish or hope that you could change something in your life? Very recently, I bet. (Maybe right before you came to this site?) We think about making change all the time. Yet we rarely make changes. Why is this? One [...]
To make good decisions, “good” being what’s right for you right now, you need to know yourself, respect your boundaries, and will willing to stretch your comfort zones.
We can’t change our parents or family. We have to accept they are as they are, and focus on our own growing-up. That’s the one thing we can influence. That’s the only productive use of time.
How do you react to an unhappy customer? Do you think you’re being blamed? Do you feel guilty, embarrassed, blamed, at fault, or frightened? Do you want to solve the problem as soon as possible just to get it over with?
I’ve been waiting in this line for an hour! Can I speak to the manager?! Are you people doing this for the first time?! Are you alive? I’ve emailed you for weeks – I deserve at least an explanation! Why are your prices so high? Why can’t you get my delivery there? Aren’t you a little young for the level of expertise required? Why didn’t you give my son an A? You’re late. Again. I said ‘Non Fat, No Whip’!
We might be great listeners, as the compassionate people we are, but we’re not always great at hearing a message or really understanding what we’re being told. We’re so afraid of the worst, that we project our fears onto people’s words, and we fail to get the right information. We think people are asking us to solve major problems and take on large projects, when often we’re being asked to tackle much smaller tasks.
Give yourself a break. You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to measure up to other people’s standards. You may want to reevaluate your standards – are your standards fair? If you feel like you’re disappointing other people, release yourself from that kind of thinking. it’s not doing you any good. Live [...]
