Archive for Healthy Boundaries – Page 3

Troubleshooting Narcissism

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If you grew up with alcoholic parents, addicts, or otherwise self-centered, child-like parents, you are already familiar with (if not enraged by) narcissism. Sometimes, the most infuriating fact of interacting with a narcissistic family member is, well, something that’s impossible to avoid:¬† talking with them–having “conversation.” I can’t help put¬†conversation in quotes because conversations with [...]

Reader Mail: Boyfriend’s Mom is an Alcoholic, What do I Do?

Hi Amy. My name is Lisa, and I found a link to your blog on Wikipedia today on the article discussing “Adult children of Alcoholics”. I will just give you a little background about myself and my boyfriend: I grew up in a house where both my parents are teetotallers. The extent of my experience [...]

5 Tips for Coping with Commitment Issues (Theirs)

But, whose commitment issues are you most concerned about? Are you concerned about your ability to live up to commitments? Or, as you more concerned about the lack of someone else’s ability to commit? My guess is that we’re more concerned with the commitments that we wish other people would make to us than our own commitments. That’s classic ACA behavior (wishing that someone were “more” than what they are.) If you’re the over-achieving type of ACA, then you probably are very reliable and very critical of the inability of others to be just as reliable as you are. You may even unconsciously ‘test’ people on this.

Do Relationships Turn You into a Chameleon?

We become lost in intimate relationships. We’re not sure exactly when it happens. Yet, it does. If our partner were to say, “Where are you going?” you’d likely say, “Wherever you’re going, wherever you want me to go.” Well, perhaps actually asked that question, you wouldn’t answer it that way. But, subconsciously that is the answer we give – it’s what we do. That is a state of ‘lost’ not just in your relationship, but in yourself. You recognize it physically as a feeling of being disoriented, fuzzy in the head, unsure of what you want, where you want to go, or even who you now are.

Personal Boundaries are Essential to the Real You

It’s paramount to your development of your self and to your happiness to develop your interests and who you are. In doing so you’re going to need to be vocal about boundaries, there’s no way to live your life as the real you and not champion your personal boundaries. A key part of your personal growth and transformation from dysfunctional into functional individuals is the ability to get comfortable using the simplest of words: no.