Oh, boy, sometimes we see things we don’t want to—like a stain on my pants, one that I’d prefer not to notice till after I’ve left the house. If I notice it before leaving, my conscience won’t let me keep those pants on. I have to change, once I see the truth. It’s a call [...]
People sometimes refuse to forgive what someone has done because they think of forgiveness as giving in or condoning bad behavior; that’s not it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying that something was okay, just that you are at peace with what happened — forgiveness means that you’re no longer enslaved by it. Years ago, I lived [...]
I really appreciate Tony’s approach to Step Four. It is kind to the adult child, it acknowledges that we have inherited behaviors and character traits that we didn’t choose but are, rather, part of a long line of inherited behaviors. I agree that by examining our addict parent and identifying their faults, we can actually unearth and identify our own.
I think we too often refuse to forgive those who imprisoned us because we assume that it means we have to reconcile the relationship. But, these are two very different concepts, acts, and paths.
