Archive for Family of Origin

The Difference Between Being Angry and Feeling Angry

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The Good Men Project just published my article on anger – read it here, “Speaking of Anger:  The Difference Between Being Angry and Feeling Angry“ Excerpt: Oh, how some men do anger—with flair, full throttle, and theatrically. There are men who even do it in cars. Some especially do it in cars. An automobile can punctuate anger: A sharp right turn [...]

When There’s Alcoholism in Your Family Tree (or Your Partner’s Family Tree): Part One

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We all find our way to the realization that our family history includes alcoholism, we just find our way there differently.  Some of us find our way through finding ourselves in a relationship with an addict of some sort again and again, until we examine our family history and codependent leanings — and, through that [...]

Start Practicing Self-Kindness and Personal Boundaries Come Naturally

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There are aspects of our journey, self-investigation, and its narrow paths that we can only walk alone. We want to share ourselves so completely with our friends and partners that, at times, we try to take them with us to the tough, dark places that it’s appropriate for only us to go. We make our [...]

When Our Brothers and Sisters Grow Up Addicts: The Sibling Project

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We want to break the family inheritance chain: our parents were narcissists, alcoholics, or emotionally abusive and we want the problems connected to that to Stop. With. Us.  We live our lives alongside the mantra. ‘Not going to marry an addict’ or ‘Not going to become an addict.’ No one wants to repeat mistakes, particularly [...]

How Well Do You Handle Criticism? (In Three Acts)

Oh yeah?

Do you want to squirt lemon juice in the eyes of anyone who DARES to criticize you? To pound their desk with your fist and shout, Who do you think you are?! You don’t KNOW me, what I’ve seen, or where I come from! Do suggestions, tips, and advice feel like hostile criticisms to you? [...]