As promised – a photo of THE COUCH. Soft as a rose petal. Last Sunday I joined Susan of Empowering Solutions again to talk about problems and solutions for children of trauma, and told the story of purchasing my couch. Somehow, in all the apartments and towns in which I’ve lived, this is the first [...]
I’m re-reading a remarkable, practical self-help book, Self-Esteem, which is in its third edition and subtitled, A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, improving & maintaining your self-esteem. Between them, the authors, Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning have written many, many other self-help guides as well. The first time I read Self-Esteem, and then [...]
Of course we’re angry. We have been loyal to people who ignored us. Loyal and loving and protective of those for whom we were secondary. We lived on the periphery of their focus. As babies, when our cries didn’t work, we shut up and smiled through our needs, our pain. As children, when our sad [...]
Hesitant when asked to do something? Always want to know what’s going to happen–when, where, how long, and who’s going to be there? Cautious? Wary? Unable to wholly trust others? Yes, and of course. With all the chaos around us as children, caution and being slow-to-trust makes complete and utter, not-your-fault, 100% sense. In his [...]
I just can’t keep myself from writing about self-control again. Must be a lack of… Last post, I wrote about how another person’s self-control makes them seem more trustworthy to us (based on the results of a recent study). And vice-versa: they also found that when others’ self-control was erratic, people had trouble trusting them. [...]
