Self-Care is Not Selfishness, it’s One’s Lifeblood

Screen Shot 2015-12-02 at 2.45.07 PMYou cannot indulge in too much self-care over the holidays.

You don’t have to become a flickering bulb that has lost its vitality. 

Keep your fuse fully charged, even if for the first time in your life. Don’t keep pushing, trying to rally, and going, going, going until you’re running ragged and awaiting one of two occurrences:  To finally become extinguished or for someone else to notice you need help.

Signs that you are overdue for some self-care:

- you’ve become quiet
- you secretly want to escape
- you’re over-consuming sugar
- you’re feeling impatient
- you’re feeling irritable
- you’re tired!

Before you get to that flickering-bulb state, take care of yourself. You already know what makes you feel most cared for — you have permission to act on that knowledge. What do you need? Listen to yourself, listen to whatever answer comes.

A few starter ideas:

* turn off your phone
* take walk
* sit on your front steps
* Be with a friend
* take a bath
* take a drive
* get a massage
* write down your feelings
* engage in active self-reflection (“Why might I be feeling this way?” And “What can I do to tend to my innermost needs?”)
* Breathe

Everyone else is responsible for their own needs. Everyone else has a voice with which to communicate their needs. So just worry about you.

Amy Eden


  1. Charles J Gervasi says:

    This post is interesting to me. I do not have this issue, but I know people who do. They push themselves for others, and end up causing problems for the people they’re supposedly trying to help. It’s a sick child-of-alcoholic think that I don’t understand b/c I did not have an alcoholic family.

    The post reminds me of the The Virtue of Selfishness , The Fountainhead, ad Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I know people politicize her books, but that’s not what I mean. I mean they’re about how putting yourself first is actually the right thing to do. Doing something onerous for the sake of others is actually bad for others.

    I appreciate your posts b/c they give me insight into a world I don’t understand.

    • Amy Eden says:

      Thanks for the comment and sharing your perspective (as well as your wonderful willingness to listen to the perspectives of others.)

      Good call on Ayn Rand – yes, yes, very much like that way of putting one’s self first. I hadn’t made that connection, and am glad you brought that to light.

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