How to Break Free from a Parent’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Part Four in a Four-Part Series)

This is the final post in a four-part series by One Angry Daughter, who shares her experience and resources for Adult Children of Narcissists on her blog, One Angry Daughter

Still Striving for Acceptance

My journey has come full circle when it comes to acceptance.  In the beginning I was still a child seeking the impossible acceptance of a mother who was unable to grant it.  Now, I feel much more like an adult who is seeking her own acceptance of a new, genuine reality.

I now focus on defining my individuality, rejoicing my unique spirit and continuously finding my own voice as the other more critical voices are silenced.

Once I let go of the idea that there was something I could do on my own to make my family dynamic better, I was able to let go of a tremendous amount of guilt and responsibility.  There were four adults that make up my birth family (me, my parents and my sister), all of us one fourth of the dysfunction dynamic.  In my reality I could see that we needed to change in order to have healthier, more enjoyable interactions.  In their reality, there was nothing to change and I was being out of line.  Unless all four of us want to move in the same direction, we are at an impasse.

Although I still get angry or depressed about the outcome, I am grateful for the experience as it has given me the space to come into my own person.  I found the key to accepting a healthier life outside of the control of narcissism is that it is perfectly ok to develop and live by your own standards rather than the impossible standards of another person. External validation from others feels great, but the only person’s acceptance I really need in order to maintain my healthy sense of self is my own.