People sometimes refuse to forgive what someone has done because they think of forgiveness as giving in or condoning bad behavior; that’s not it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying that something was okay, just that you are at peace with what happened — forgiveness means that you’re no longer enslaved by it.
Years ago, I lived in New York City. I did a lot of journal writing then. In cafes, on the subway, in cafes, at burrito shops, and in more cafes. I was writing to try to understand myself, my mind and heart, my pain then, and how to dissolve the pain. Journal writing and the thinking that went along with it was my Dawn dishwashing liquid, dissolving the hardest, most clingy pain.